difficult company

I've tried, so far unsuccessfully, to find out who wrote this poem. Whoever did has done a brilliant job of capturing the 'please always be there for me except for all the times I don't want you to be' need state of a grieving person. I trust the author won't mind me reproducing it here but I'd love to add a credit if anyone knows who was behind it.From my personal standpoint, this is for all the people I hope will check in on me but whose calls I ignore when they do. Believe me when I say that I love you all but grief's a bitch like that.Hold me close and go away Please visit me and please don’t stay Talk to me but please don’t speak I need you NOW – come back next week.Emotions muddled, needs unknown To be with others or on my own? To scream out loud? To rant and shout? Or hide away and push you out?I smile at you – “She’s not that bad” I shout at you – “She’s going mad” I speak to you – “What do I say?” I show my tears – “Quick, walk away”It’s not catching, the grief I feel I can’t pretend that it’s not real I carry on as best I know But this pain inside just won’t go.So true friends, please, accept the lot I shout, I cry, I lose the plot I don’t know what I need today So hold me close and go away.