just how

Nothing poetic. Nothing profound. And the shortest post I've ever written.But as I pack up our old life to build a new home with my son, I'm suddenly left dumbstruck by how the hell this horrendous situation has come to pass.I've just felt myself stabbed by the pain of my wife losing her life long before the use by date on her cosmetics, which I'm struggling to know what to do with.I'm newly devastated that the female presence in our lives has gone, as its absence reveals itself in unworn jewellery, hair pins and lingerie all around our room.I've never ever faced my future with such a heavy heart or with such a bad taste in my mouth for clichés about new beginnings.And for once I've nothing else to say.