woman trouble

It's hard to imagine a two-year-old boy already experiencing problems with the opposite sex, but we are having some serious woman trouble.My son, who has always been fiercely loyal to his mum, has taken a dislike to girls. To be slightly more specific he's on a mission to alienate and attack any woman in her early to mid-thirties who comes within a ten metre radius of me.Once again this presents me with questions that he is as yet unable to answer. Has he lost trust for the fairer sex because his mummy has gone away and can't come back? Is he wearing his metaphorical 'Team Desreen' onesie to detract any significant female influence infiltrating our home? Have I forgotten to teach him that it's not right for a boy to raise his hand or bare his teeth to a girl? Or am I simply overanalysing his every move?For the record, I don't think I am. On Saturday we met a lovely couple through some old friends. The husband was a really nice guy who immediately started playing with my son. They took to each other straightaway. The wife was equally warm. A mother herself, she knew the right buttons to press. Only my son didn't want his touched. When a "Go away!" wouldn't suffice he decided that the only way to show her how he felt was to crawl under the table and attack her foot. Naturally I pulled him away before he drew blood, but he looked enraged, just like five days earlier when he'd gone for her mate.I ought to explain that my son is really rather a nice chap. He's always had a bit of a temper and he doesn't tend to leave company unsure of how he feels, but this battle of the sexes is something new. In fact, it's been a notable shift. He used to pour affection on his mother and blame me for anything that went wrong. "No Daddy!" he'd say if one of his trains broke, blaming me even if I wasn't in the room. I'd be the one that would receive a whack when something on his plate didn't meet with his approval, even if his mum there was holding the spoon.But that's all changed now. I can do little wrong. He suddenly worships me and he'll sing my name rather than shout. His maternal grandma's out of luck though. While I'm becoming mum she's becoming dad.It's her birthday tomorrow too so I'm off to town to buy her some boots. Those angry toddler teeth can play hell with an unprotected female ankle.

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