LIFE AS A WIDOWER

A story of grief by a man and a boy

dream girl 

She walked ahead along an unfamiliar bridge over the Thames. A building at its mouth bellowed thick black and grey smoke as a fire blazed inside. The sun shone in … Continue reading

July 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

dreading things

Hangovers are a funny old business. In that moment when I’m about to down something that looks radioactive and tastes like it might kill me, I rarely think ahead to how … Continue reading

March 29, 2014 · 3 Comments

smiley faces

I’ve felt a great degree of tension about how to best raise my son since my wife was killed. Immediately after her death I did my very best to act … Continue reading

March 16, 2014 · 5 Comments

distant friends

I got a call from a friend on Friday who was phoning to let me know that an ex-colleague of ours had died. The last time I ever heard from … Continue reading

January 13, 2014 · 8 Comments

conflicted year

This time last year my wife had been dead for just seven weeks. Although a number of friends had invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with them, I decided … Continue reading

December 31, 2013 · 5 Comments

smiling eyes

My publisher got in touch last week to ask me who they should credit for a head shot I provided some time ago when I was first invited to write … Continue reading

September 11, 2013 · 6 Comments

birthday beats

Today’s my 34th birthday. This means I’m now what I said I feared most when I gave my wife’s eulogy – older than she ever got chance to be – … Continue reading

August 12, 2013 · 31 Comments

love reigns

Lost that bitter winter’s night, Searching balmy summer days for you, Beams of light from a sunset sky Illuminate you in his radiant face. Hope whispers tender words of warmth, … Continue reading

July 27, 2013 · 4 Comments

what if

What if we’d never left home that day, What if we’d travelled a different way. What if we’d gone by taxi not train, What if we’d only had starter not … Continue reading

July 22, 2013 · 26 Comments

meaning it

I’ve got a bulging folder in my Hotmail account entitled ‘offers of help’. I had this kind of twisted fantasy going around in my head after my wife died whereby … Continue reading

July 19, 2013 · 23 Comments

marginalised grief

By the time my grandma passed away this week she had come to terms with her death. She had been suffering from pulmonary fibrosis, a scarring of the lung, which made … Continue reading

July 9, 2013 · 7 Comments

grief encounter

My mind is racing this morning as it has been all through the night. My head is so full of thoughts that I can barely decide how to commit them … Continue reading

July 7, 2013 · 11 Comments

park life

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how sad I felt seeing my son so happy in the park. About how his first joyous experience of a bouncy … Continue reading

July 5, 2013 · 4 Comments

engaging memories

I’m sitting in the spot in Regent’s Park where Desreen and I got engaged four years ago this week. It’s a day much like that one. Warm but overcast. Close. … Continue reading

June 18, 2013 · 9 Comments

father’s day

It’s Father’s Day in the UK today. For those of us who are lucky enough to actually have a father, it’s probably a time to send a card, pick up … Continue reading

June 16, 2013 · 10 Comments

living loss

This is a guest post by Becky Cricther about grief before death Becky is 35-years-old and mummy to Chloe, aged four, who she lives with in Birmingham. A devoted daughter … Continue reading

June 13, 2013 · 15 Comments

toddler grief

In January this year I wrote a feature for The Guardian about my experience of telling my son his mummy was dead. I guess at the time I hoped his pain would … Continue reading

June 11, 2013 · 16 Comments

hay griever

Sometimes reactions speak louder than words. Well this last week I’ve tried to verbalise what’s wrong but it’s been my eyes rather than my mouth that have done all the … Continue reading

June 8, 2013 · 15 Comments

losing zoë

This is a guest post by Walter and Dorothy Schwarz This story is exceptionally close to my heart. It’s about the suicide of a girl who I never met, which in … Continue reading

June 7, 2013 · 9 Comments

inverted commas

Five months ago this week I set up this blog with just one intention. I wanted to help other young widowers find someone who could relate to the hell they … Continue reading

June 5, 2013 · 21 Comments

treasured memories

This is a guest post by Sally Fenton Sally is the founder of Sally-Anne Jewellery. In this post she tells of the grief she felt for the bereavement of her … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · 2 Comments

heavy happiness

The sun was shining on us today. I woke up feeling okay and decided it was time to get out and play. Being ill for a fortnight has not only … Continue reading

May 19, 2013 · 13 Comments

six months

Next Friday will be the six month anniversary of my wife’s untimely death. It simultaneously means both everything and nothing to me. Everything because I can’t believe how much our … Continue reading

May 1, 2013 · 160 Comments