LIFE AS A WIDOWER

A story of grief by a man and a boy

invisible children

My little boy turned seven a few weeks ago. His birthday is always incredibly bittersweet for me. With every year that goes by, I’m reminded of how much further he … Continue reading

November 16, 2017 · 9 Comments

dream girl 

She walked ahead along an unfamiliar bridge over the Thames. A building at its mouth bellowed thick black and grey smoke as a fire blazed inside. The sun shone in … Continue reading

July 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

rising again

I’ve been going to counselling on and off for about two and a half years now. It’s not for everyone but I really value it. My experience of it now … Continue reading

April 30, 2016 · 25 Comments

mourning papers

‘You turn on the TV and every other story is tellin’ you somebody died.’ – Prince, Sign O’ The Times It’s been difficult to avoid the subject of death this … Continue reading

April 22, 2016 · 6 Comments

drowned world

Having spent the last three years writing about grief since the death of my wife in 2012, I tend not to write about things that don’t immediately touch my personal … Continue reading

September 3, 2015 · 7 Comments

crashing waves

A friend emailed me this morning after reading something he thought I might like to see. ‘Now in my defence,’ he began, ‘I never send you stuff like this, but I stumbled … Continue reading

August 11, 2015 · 18 Comments

dangerous driving

My wife was killed twenty-five months ago today, and since that day, despite the fact that I have unashamedly spoken out about my grief, I have remained respectfully tight-lipped about what I believed to … Continue reading

December 10, 2014 · 37 Comments

los muertos

“Life can be really tough for the living.” – Mary Beth, The Book of Life  It was Halloween yesterday and as I tucked Jackson up in bed late last night I … Continue reading

November 1, 2014 · 10 Comments

the couch

I’ve started seeing a counsellor again. I first tried psychotherapy a couple of months after my wife was killed but it just didn’t work out. I suppose I had it … Continue reading

March 13, 2014 · 22 Comments

being vulnerable

It has occurred to me on several occasions that sometimes I might actually alienate the people I hoped to reach when I first launched this blog: other widows and widowers … Continue reading

January 19, 2014 · 12 Comments

burst bubble

This is a guest post by Kathi Palitz Kathi is 33 years old and mother to three daughters. Her middle daughter, Vega, was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in January … Continue reading

September 19, 2013 · 8 Comments

what if

What if we’d never left home that day, What if we’d travelled a different way. What if we’d gone by taxi not train, What if we’d only had starter not … Continue reading

July 22, 2013 · 26 Comments

goodbye grandma

My maternal grandma died this afternoon. She was the last of my grandparents to go. She was an incredible woman, an incredible grandmother and, most of all, an incredible friend. … Continue reading

July 8, 2013 · 10 Comments

father’s day

It’s Father’s Day in the UK today. For those of us who are lucky enough to actually have a father, it’s probably a time to send a card, pick up … Continue reading

June 16, 2013 · 10 Comments

losing zoë

This is a guest post by Walter and Dorothy Schwarz This story is exceptionally close to my heart. It’s about the suicide of a girl who I never met, which in … Continue reading

June 7, 2013 · 9 Comments

day off

Some mornings I wake up and wonder, ‘Should I have a day off from grief today?’. A whole day when I don’t analyse my loss, write about it or read … Continue reading

May 28, 2013 · 19 Comments

treasured memories

This is a guest post by Sally Fenton Sally is the founder of Sally-Anne Jewellery. In this post she tells of the grief she felt for the bereavement of her … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · 2 Comments

past tense

Today marks six months since my wife was killed. This milestone has had me reflecting on the past. More specifically on the past tense. Something I’ve struggled with since the … Continue reading

May 10, 2013 · 13 Comments

six months

Next Friday will be the six month anniversary of my wife’s untimely death. It simultaneously means both everything and nothing to me. Everything because I can’t believe how much our … Continue reading

May 1, 2013 · 156 Comments

grief lightning

Olivia Newton John has been on TV a lot recently. I don’t even watch that much TV and I’ve seen her on three shows. Every time I’ve seen her face … Continue reading

April 28, 2013 · 10 Comments

tank engines

This is a guest post by writer, journalist and blogger, Emma Beddington …but first an introduction from me I don’t usually interfere with guest posts by weaving in my own … Continue reading

April 12, 2013 · Leave a comment

saying sorry

This is a guest post by John Crace John Crace is a staff feature writer for the Guardian, where he is best known for the literary pastiche ‘Digested Read’. He has … Continue reading

April 9, 2013 · 5 Comments

ignoring grief

Grief is not an easy business to be in. It pays terribly, it’s totally unrewarding, there’s no opportunity to go part time, and it’s both mentally and physically draining. Mentally … Continue reading

March 26, 2013 · 15 Comments

final deadline

This is a guest post by Ron Shaich, founder, chairman and co-CEO at the US bakery company, Panera Bread This post was first published on Ron Shaich’s LinkedIn page on Friday … Continue reading

March 3, 2013 · Leave a comment

egg timer

When people who pluck up the courage to ask me how I feel about my wife’s death, I tell them, ‘I’ve accepted it but I simply can’t absorb it.’ What … Continue reading

March 2, 2013 · 12 Comments

time heals

I was asked an interesting question about the blog in a tweet yesterday. ‘Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn’t already? If so, who?’ At first I … Continue reading

February 27, 2013 · 32 Comments