Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

tell them

The eighty-five-year-old driver who killed my wife, Desreen, was jailed today for eighteen months for causing her death by dangerous driving. He was also banned from driving for life. I … Continue reading

December 22, 2014 · 429 Comments

nervous breakdown

Around this time last year I went on holiday with my best friends and Jackson. It didn’t go too well. I’m not sure why I thought that a week in the … Continue reading

February 22, 2014 · 6 Comments

don’t ask

I find that some days my grief just grows heavy and intense without any real warning or explanation. These days, however, I try to avoid letting on when l feel … Continue reading

January 26, 2014 · 11 Comments

truly privileged

I took on a train journey with my son yesterday. It sounds like a simple, everyday kind of thing to do and it was once. But some things that used … Continue reading

November 14, 2013 · 7 Comments

the boss

My last post received lots of really helpful comments about dealing with my son’s grief-related anger. So useful have they been, in fact, that he’s actually been much better today. And perhaps … Continue reading

September 26, 2013 · 15 Comments

empty reassurance

My son’s behaviour has taken a nosedive. He’s angry. He’s suddenly become all-too-frequently furious and ferocious. Not having the right lid for a pan or the exact piece of Lego … Continue reading

September 25, 2013 · 27 Comments

birthday beats

Today’s my 34th birthday. This means I’m now what I said I feared most when I gave my wife’s eulogy – older than she ever got chance to be – … Continue reading

August 12, 2013 · 31 Comments

meaning it

I’ve got a bulging folder in my Hotmail account entitled ‘offers of help’. I had this kind of twisted fantasy going around in my head after my wife died whereby … Continue reading

July 19, 2013 · 23 Comments

living loss

This is a guest post by Becky Cricther about grief before death Becky is 35-years-old and mummy to Chloe, aged four, who she lives with in Birmingham. A devoted daughter … Continue reading

June 13, 2013 · 15 Comments

primal scream

In the weeks following my wife’s death I was consumed by fear for our son’s future. How would he react? How would I tell him what had happened? Could he … Continue reading

June 9, 2013 · 5 Comments

treasured memories

This is a guest post by Sally Fenton Sally is the founder of Sally-Anne Jewellery. In this post she tells of the grief she felt for the bereavement of her … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · 2 Comments

six months

Next Friday will be the six month anniversary of my wife’s untimely death. It simultaneously means both everything and nothing to me. Everything because I can’t believe how much our … Continue reading

May 1, 2013 · 144 Comments

mother’s day

A number of people have asked me what I’m planning to do for Mother’s Day this year. It’s an easy one to answer for me. I’m going to buy my … Continue reading

February 25, 2013 · 13 Comments

rock stars

Last night I learnt why rock stars smash up hotel rooms. It’s because they can. It works for them on so many levels. It gets them the attention they need … Continue reading

February 20, 2013 · 4 Comments

my son

This is a very special guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton Toddler, train enthusiast and part time nursery attendee, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton, shares his thoughts on his … Continue reading

February 12, 2013 · 30 Comments

valentine’s day

This is a guest post by Cj M Swaby NLP wellness coach, writer and speaker, 33-year-old Cj M Swaby lost his brother; the singer, musician, husband, son and uncle, Lynden … Continue reading

February 8, 2013 · 15 Comments

sick child

Never has a common cold felt more intense and I don’t even have one. Late last week my little boy woke up and radiated temperatures between 38 and 40°C throughout … Continue reading

February 5, 2013 · 35 Comments

keeping busy

These last few weeks have been pretty busy. Lots of well wishers have warned me not to overstretch myself and friends and family have have shown their concern when they’ve … Continue reading

February 4, 2013 · 10 Comments

woman trouble

It’s hard to imagine a two-year-old boy already experiencing problems with the opposite sex, but we are having some serious woman trouble. My son, who has always been fiercely loyal … Continue reading

January 29, 2013 · 12 Comments

happy days

I used to love that conversation about Falling Down, you know that one where you’d ask what it would take to make you explode with anger like the character played … Continue reading

January 25, 2013 · 17 Comments