Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

speaking out

This is a video of my recent interview with BBC Breakfast, in which I speak out about being widowed, facing grief, how to helped the bereaved, explaining death to children, starting this blog and writing my new book.




8 comments on “speaking out

  1. Vikki R
    May 8, 2014

    What a fantastic segment. I think that will help a lot of people and even though I’ve never been close to being in your position, I still found it really interesting and enlightening. Thank you.

  2. Sally
    May 8, 2014

    I was very moved by your appearance and chat on Loose Women today, and feel that you are so right in being honest with yourself.
    I am still grieving for my mother and father and find it difficult to confide in anyone least they not understand.
    Also I grieve for a lost love after 8 yrs it still hurts and I feel so alone once the door is shut. its difficult to make that first step to talk.
    God Bless you and good luck.

  3. Carol
    May 8, 2014

    I lost my husband on 19th April this year almost 3 weeks ago, he had terminal cancer but not expected to go when he did which was very suddenly. I have to convince myself that his death did happen as it all feels unreal most of the time. As you said its like its not happening, right up to the last time he was able to look at me I was convinced he would get pain relief for his headache and we would return home. I now find myself telling myself that,I must get up, I must eat and I must wash etc because he would want me to continue with life. But all I really want to do is be with him and hold him.
    I will read your book in the hope that it will support me through this difficult time.

    • Chris
      May 8, 2014

      I read your message and as with Ben’s story it touched me as I lost my husband of 50 years in November 2013 very suddenly. as you say it is unreal and continuing is so difficult.
      I have wonderful support from my son. friends and neighbours but my daughter seems to have become so stressed she cannot empathise with me it is extra heart break. I know I must be strong and get through each day.
      I also will read Ben’s book to find some solace from the mental and physical pain.

  4. handikwani02
    May 10, 2014

    I missed your live interview on BBC now I have managed to watch it on Youtube all I want to say is a fantastic interview!

  5. gorillamums
    May 13, 2014

    I stumbled upon your interview with the BBC the other day. You are incredibly brave, it gets so tiresome being told the same old things time after time when a loved one dies and I have to admit to laughing when you said about your answer “fine” which we all automatically use all the time. We are anything but “fine” yet that’s what we say, mainly to avoid the terrified looks of people when you start telling them what you really feel! You’re an inspiration for using your terrible situation to help others.

  6. Tina
    May 15, 2014

    I accidently fell upon your interview on loose women and subsequently bought your book which I have been unable to put down. My husband died just over 2 years ago leaving me with my 11 year old daughter and I have to say listening to you and reading your book has been the greatest help I have experienced so far. Someone real validating ‘how it is’ not ‘what it is supposed’ to be has been invaluable. Thankyou. Thankyou. And good luck….

  7. carlton
    March 28, 2017

    I lost my wife nearly 4 years ago to cancer wow this is just trying to write, I am watching the Rio Ferdinand being mum & dad & it’s bring all the memory of my wife, our son was 9 when Debbie was told that she had breast cancer and he went with his mum for some of the treatment he would play in the waiting room with his aunt, the real kick was when Debbie rang me, to tell that the cancer was back and it as spread to the brain, I was in the middle lane of the M25 driving an car transporter fully loaded, I am at a point where I was thinking that I had got on top off everything till, mother’s day where I had a massive melt down the day after I relisted that I am nowhere near over this I now know that I need help I am screaming out for help and I don’t know which way to turn it’s like people keep saying they know what I am going through but they haven’t lost anyone, I am hoping that I can find some direction by the end of this program

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