Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

park life

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how sad I felt seeing my son so happy in the park. About how his first joyous experience of a bouncy castle made me feel so acutely aware of his loss. The melancholy set in as I thought about how much his mummy, who loved nothing more than to see him happy, was missing out.

But today we returned to the same spot and he was even happier than the time before. The sun was shining, the weather was hot and there were happy families everywhere. And today, I’m pleased to say, we were one of them. Diminished but somehow managing to smile, to laugh and to show how much we love one another.

Who knows how we’ll feel the next time we go? Perhaps the rain will fall and another storm of grief will set into our souls. But then that’ll be another day. And I guess I’m starting to learn to appreciate what we have today rather than worrying too much about what we may or may not have tomorrow.

4 comments on “park life

  1. Naomii Chaplain
    July 5, 2013

    A load of bad days punctuated by a good day is better than a load of bad days with no punctuation! x

    • Susan
      July 5, 2013

      To right Naomii,

  2. katherinecolombo
    July 5, 2013

    Such a great post. I have found myself trying to intentionally find joy even in situations where I intensely miss Wesley. Julia finds joy even in his absence because although we cannot see him, Wesley is with us. Enjoy the sun you have today. Today it is enough.

  3. lottiesc
    July 6, 2013

    Love your attitude Ben and enjoy today!

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