Tag Archives: widower
father’s day
It’s Father’s Day in the UK today. For those of us who are lucky enough to actually have a father, it’s probably a time to send a card, pick up … Continue reading
annabel’s angels
This is a special Father’s Day guest post by Simon Hancox Simon’s wife Annabel was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in April 2012. She died just after Christmas last year, … Continue reading
toddler grief
In January this year I wrote a feature for The Guardian about my experience of telling my son his mummy was dead. I guess at the time I hoped his pain would … Continue reading
seven months
January February March November April June May December Time, oh Time, why d’you lie? Go march on, leave me behind You may give, you may take, you may lend, you … Continue reading
primal scream
In the weeks following my wife’s death I was consumed by fear for our son’s future. How would he react? How would I tell him what had happened? Could he … Continue reading
hay griever
Sometimes reactions speak louder than words. Well this last week I’ve tried to verbalise what’s wrong but it’s been my eyes rather than my mouth that have done all the … Continue reading
inverted commas
Five months ago this week I set up this blog with just one intention. I wanted to help other young widowers find someone who could relate to the hell they … Continue reading
taking liberties
Dear Desreen, I’m writing to you to ask for forgiveness. I’ve just done something that I can barely excuse. I’ve closed your loyalty card at Liberty. And the luxurious London … Continue reading
forever love
This afternoon I attended my first wedding since my wife died. I had no ‘plus one’, just me and my friends. I was the guy on his own, which I … Continue reading
school years
My wife always measured people’s age in school years. I was “the year above” her even in my thirties despite the fact that we were born just eight weeks apart. … Continue reading
day off
Some mornings I wake up and wonder, ‘Should I have a day off from grief today?’. A whole day when I don’t analyse my loss, write about it or read … Continue reading
crisis point
Don’t panic, I’m actually having quite a nice day so far. Mostly because ever since I woke up at 5am I’ve been able to hear my wife’s voice in my … Continue reading
playing happy
This is a fourth guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton. In Jackson’s fourth post, he shares his views on moving from the last home he ever shared … Continue reading
heavy happiness
The sun was shining on us today. I woke up feeling okay and decided it was time to get out and play. Being ill for a fortnight has not only … Continue reading
liquid hope
Thank God for chicken pox. I never thought I’d say that given the pain I was in and how disgusting I still look and feel, but they did come with … Continue reading
man flu
I’ve just started to feel something like human again after nearly two weeks of suffering from chicken pox. ‘Man flu’, I hear you cry. Well maybe, but I can honestly … Continue reading
difficult company
I’ve tried, so far unsuccessfully, to find out who wrote this poem. Whoever did has done a brilliant job of capturing the ‘please always be there for me except for … Continue reading
past tense
Today marks six months since my wife was killed. This milestone has had me reflecting on the past. More specifically on the past tense. Something I’ve struggled with since the … Continue reading
tough question
On Friday my son woke several times in the night riddled with a fever brought on from chicken pox. However hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to swallow the … Continue reading
six months
Next Friday will be the six month anniversary of my wife’s untimely death. It simultaneously means both everything and nothing to me. Everything because I can’t believe how much our … Continue reading
babes’ mouths
Well yesterday took me by surprise. I’ve been telling people how I’m dreading Jackson’s friends getting to that age where they start to compare themselves to others around them. That … Continue reading
our song
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I’d written a song with my musician friend Paul Hand. Well it’s out today and proceeds from its downloads will go to … Continue reading
dry eyes
It’s easy to breeze through life and take it for granted until you are given reason not to. In fact it’s more than easy, it’s an absolute pleasure. Not a … Continue reading
five months
Today marks five months since my wife was killed. It’s also three months since I started writing this blog and by this time next week our son will be two … Continue reading
the apprentice
New feelings have taken hold of me this weekend. Untold pain from running up steep hills in the biting cold at a 10K race in Greenwich Park on Saturday morning. … Continue reading
modern loneliness
“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre In normal life I’d probably agree with this statement. There’s something so wonderfully gratifying about escaping the world … Continue reading
you’re her
Many years ago my maternal grandmother explained to me how she saw life and death. I was probably no more than ten when she asked me to walk over to … Continue reading
felicitas vitae
“When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to … Continue reading
miss you
Miss Confident Miss Shy Miss Fun Miss Hilarious Miss Loving Miss Loved Miss Organised Miss Inspiring Miss Strong Miss Fragile Miss Generous Miss Loyal Miss Fashion Miss Style Miss Beautiful … Continue reading
ignoring grief
Grief is not an easy business to be in. It pays terribly, it’s totally unrewarding, there’s no opportunity to go part time, and it’s both mentally and physically draining. Mentally … Continue reading
old people
I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t look at strangers in the street and wonder, ‘What are you all about? Anything could have happened to you. … Continue reading
progress review
This is a third guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton. In Jackson’s third post, he shares news of his latest nursery progress review – the first since … Continue reading
advertising space
I’ve heard life called many things recently. Unfair, unpredictable, confusing, a bitch, a total utter bastard, you name it. But one thing life never seems to fail to be is … Continue reading
true friendship
I’m closing this week with a little sense of pride and achievement. It’s hard to feel any truly positive emotions right now, but when they are driven by the happiness … Continue reading
old habits
I went back to work yesterday. You may feel like you’ve read these words from me before, but last time it was just too soon. I wasn’t in a good … Continue reading
parental guidance
This is a second guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton In Jackson’s second post, he shares with us what he really (maybe) means when he throws himself … Continue reading
eating out
Without even realising it, I’ve taken to eating out alone. I’ve just been on my second lunch date with myself in a week. The first time I was entirely alone, … Continue reading
final deadline
This is a guest post by Ron Shaich, founder, chairman and co-CEO at the US bakery company, Panera Bread This post was first published on Ron Shaich’s LinkedIn page on Friday … Continue reading
egg timer
When people who pluck up the courage to ask me how I feel about my wife’s death, I tell them, ‘I’ve accepted it but I simply can’t absorb it.’ What … Continue reading
time heals
I was asked an interesting question about the blog in a tweet yesterday. ‘Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn’t already? If so, who?’ At first I … Continue reading
clean living
I feel disgusting. Not a single part of my body feels good. I’ve got a runny nose and I’m continually sneezing but I wouldn’t say I have a cold. I’ve … Continue reading
grieving nothing
I’ve suddenly been hit by a kind of bereavement that I’ve never felt before. I’m sort of grieving nothing. I’m kind of grieving something that never existed. I’m feeling a … Continue reading
rock stars
Last night I learnt why rock stars smash up hotel rooms. It’s because they can. It works for them on so many levels. It gets them the attention they need … Continue reading
dramatic emotions
I ran the Brighton Half Marathon yesterday. It’d been planned for ages and my wife, Desreen, was due to take part with me. I knew she wouldn’t need to get … Continue reading
new words
Many widows and widowers speak of the uncomfortable ‘widowy’ moments they’ve experienced since losing their spouse. Like when they realised a friend had crossed the road to avoid them just … Continue reading
my son
This is a very special guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton Toddler, train enthusiast and part time nursery attendee, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton, shares his thoughts on his … Continue reading
finding myself
I always used to love the idea that you could take a year out of your life in your twenties to go and ‘find yourself’. Invariably you’d only really find … Continue reading
