Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

summer sabbatical

In July last year I decided to leave my job to be with my son. Actually, I’ll correct myself, I think it would be fair to say that life made … Continue reading

June 20, 2014 · 52 Comments

extra mile

This is a guest post and appeal by BBC Breakfast presenter Louise Minchin, who, incidentally, happens to be my father-in-law’s favourite person on the tele. He honestly never stops talking … Continue reading

June 19, 2014 · 1 Comment

desreen dress

This is a guest post by James New and Jessica Richard, and the second in this blog’s Inspiring Friends series.  My wife loved fashion. It was not only what she spent most of her … Continue reading

March 5, 2014 · 3 Comments

lonely business

I’m growing accustomed to – if entirely frustrated with – the crashing lows I suffer as a result of experiencing more upbeat times. Sometimes I’m actually tempted not to bother … Continue reading

February 27, 2014 · 9 Comments

nervous breakdown

Around this time last year I went on holiday with my best friends and Jackson. It didn’t go too well. I’m not sure why I thought that a week in the … Continue reading

February 22, 2014 · 6 Comments

inspiring friends

A few days after my wife died I opened up a new email account and asked people to send me their memories of her. At the time the messages I … Continue reading

February 7, 2014 · 7 Comments

special friendship

I took my little boy out for a walk this afternoon and ended up in the local library in an attempt to warm up after discovering that it was freezing … Continue reading

January 25, 2014 · 5 Comments

subtle moments

I went out for dinner with an old friend last night. Jackson wasn’t too pleased about me leaving the house, allegedly because he was concerned that it was my bedtime … Continue reading

January 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

distant friends

I got a call from a friend on Friday who was phoning to let me know that an ex-colleague of ours had died. The last time I ever heard from … Continue reading

January 13, 2014 · 8 Comments

love letters

In June 1997 a journalist called Mary Schmich published a column in the Chicago Tribune entitled ‘Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young‘. I was at university when the column … Continue reading

December 22, 2013 · 3 Comments

mindful happiness

Since starting this blog almost a year ago, I’ve been pretty outspoken about my distaste for many of the clichés and platitudes so often offered as comfort to the bereaved. And … Continue reading

December 16, 2013 · 11 Comments

happy christmas

Having lost my wife late last year it probably goes without saying that 2013 has been an unhappy year for me, save the joy our little boy has continuously brought. But … Continue reading

December 12, 2013 · 7 Comments

changed personality

Over the past few days two different interactions with two different people on two completely different topics have led me to the same conclusion – grief has the potential to … Continue reading

November 22, 2013 · 21 Comments

but nothing

‘Are you going to be okay with all this?’ These days I get asked this question every time I attend any social occasion that involves more than four people. I … Continue reading

September 1, 2013 · 19 Comments

getting easier

I gave chocolate and sweets up for Lent once. The first few days were the hardest because that was the time when I thought and talked about the sacrifice the … Continue reading

August 26, 2013 · 21 Comments

dream on

Grieving for two can be a heavy load. The minute I get a little respite from my own pain, my son will do or say something that totally floors me … Continue reading

August 18, 2013 · 8 Comments

long division

I think I understand the challenges that many bereaved people face when it comes to their relationships with others after the death of someone very close. I use the word … Continue reading

July 25, 2013 · 14 Comments

magnetic friends

It’s funny to think that there was a time when my wife and I resisted each other enough to tell our friends that we’d met at an inconvenient time in … Continue reading

June 28, 2013 · 4 Comments

living loss

This is a guest post by Becky Cricther about grief before death Becky is 35-years-old and mummy to Chloe, aged four, who she lives with in Birmingham. A devoted daughter … Continue reading

June 13, 2013 · 14 Comments

primal scream

In the weeks following my wife’s death I was consumed by fear for our son’s future. How would he react? How would I tell him what had happened? Could he … Continue reading

June 9, 2013 · 5 Comments

losing zoë

This is a guest post by Walter and Dorothy Schwarz This story is exceptionally close to my heart. It’s about the suicide of a girl who I never met, which in … Continue reading

June 7, 2013 · 8 Comments

inverted commas

Five months ago this week I set up this blog with just one intention. I wanted to help other young widowers find someone who could relate to the hell they … Continue reading

June 5, 2013 · 21 Comments

difficult company

I’ve tried, so far unsuccessfully, to find out who wrote this poem. Whoever did has done a brilliant job of capturing the ‘please always be there for me except for … Continue reading

May 11, 2013 · 16 Comments

true friendship

I’m closing this week with a little sense of pride and achievement. It’s hard to feel any truly positive emotions right now, but when they are driven by the happiness … Continue reading

March 17, 2013 · 4 Comments

dramatic emotions

This an archive post, which I first published this time last year after running the Brighton Half Marathon. I’m participating again tomorrow to raise funds for the child bereavement charity Winston’s Wish. Please … Continue reading

February 18, 2013 · 9 Comments

new words

Many widows and widowers speak of the uncomfortable ‘widowy’ moments they’ve experienced since losing their spouse. Like when they realised a friend had crossed the road to avoid them just … Continue reading

February 15, 2013 · 18 Comments

my son

This is a very special guest post by my two-year-old son, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton Toddler, train enthusiast and part time nursery attendee, Jackson Bo Brooks-Dutton, shares his thoughts on his … Continue reading

February 12, 2013 · 30 Comments

woman trouble

It’s hard to imagine a two-year-old boy already experiencing problems with the opposite sex, but we are having some serious woman trouble. My son, who has always been fiercely loyal … Continue reading

January 29, 2013 · 12 Comments

new year

This is a Facebook post from my personal account that I wrote just before midnight on New Year’s Eve.  2012. Almost half of our son’s life. Our first (and only) … Continue reading

January 23, 2013 · 14 Comments

feeling nothing

I used to crave constant praise from Desreen, which is perhaps why she offered it sparingly and only when she really meant it. She was big on self-improvement and probably … Continue reading

January 13, 2013 · 14 Comments
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