Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

poster girl

This is a guest post by Nancy Linihan and is the third in this blog’s Inspiring Friends series. 

At my wife’s funeral I gave a eulogy entitled Being DesreenThroughout the tribute I invited the congregation to keep Desreen’s memory alive by being more like her. With help and contributions from friends and family I listed the many qualities that made her so special to us all. Afterwards, her best friend asked if she could have a copy. At that moment it occurred to me how nice it would be to be able to turn something so inherently sombre into something uplifting that people could refer to with a smile on their face and not just a tear in their eye. In today’s visual guest post, my friend Nancy has made this happen by designing a poster that combines my words and a beautiful, happy picture of Desreen. It may be a little hard to read online but printed off at A4 size you’ll be able to see every heartfelt word.

Thanks so much, Nancy x

march1_upload

6 comments on “poster girl

  1. Linda Rogers
    March 19, 2014

    What a lovely eulogy. I wish I could have faced doing this about my dear Michael. He too had so many great qualities which many would do to emulate. He was kind, funny,,caring, brave (he was a former firefighter and would have disputed this) – at times a bit full on but that was good as he drew people to him. He taught me so much about relating to people. I had been shy and nervous with people. I still am a little but now I reach out as he did. Missing him so much still after over two years. Will miss him forever.

  2. Paul R
    March 19, 2014

    The comment about the bus made me smile, as did many others, because my wife would get on the bus and promptly go to sleep. But she would wake up before her stop. One time on her way home from work she must have been really tired because the bus driver woke her up. He had stopped the bus right in front of our apartment after going to the end of the line and coming back along the route. We didn’t have a stop in front of our apartment.

  3. carina
    March 19, 2014

    Quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever read – she sounds like the most amazing woman. I didn’t know her, but I will try and be more like her.

  4. Fiftn UK
    March 21, 2014

    Such a lovely poster and wonderful eulogy. It seems Desreen was just the perfect match for you and I’m sure she would love such a thoughtful gift.

  5. cupitonians
    March 26, 2014

    This is the most moving eulogy I have ever read. I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing her but I feel like I can learn so much for her life and the intense effect she’s had on your and all the people whose lives she’s touched! Such an amazing idea too, to turn something sad into something inspiring!

  6. Lisa
    June 4, 2014

    I love your eulogy for Desreen. I’ve just finished your book today and coincidently today is also the 4th anniversary of my brothers death. He died of cancer In 2010 I also lost my mum (March 6th) of that year and then out of the blue my sister (20th nov) of that year. I know they weren’t my partner but they are my only immediate family other than my daughter. They did leave 6 children between them and the grief we’ve experienced has been phenomenal. By the time my sister died I was on the floor (we are such a close family) I hadn’t managed to say anything at mums and michaels funeral (I had things read out) but when it came to Simone,the last of my family, I just had to try. So with my 18 year old daughter holding my hand I stood and told the world just how beautiful and amazing my gorgeous sister was. I also mentioned them all and I’m so pleased that I did. I still , to this day can’t believe what happened to my beautiful family. It took a long while for the shock to wear off but when it does you are just left with a foreboding sadness that grabs you whenever it fancies. Today has been one of those days. Thank you for your book and your blog Benjamin. It really has helped. Oh and for what it’s worth, I’ve beena nanny for over 20 yrs. you’re doing the right thing by your gorgeous boy (who incidentally happens to have my daughters hair!)

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