Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

our desreen

This poem is a guest post by Gareth Williams and the first in this blog’s Inspiring Friends series. 

Screen Shot 2014-02-08 at 08.43.13When I first met Desreen nine years ago I lived in a shared flat with three friends. One morning I woke up a little more excited than usual because I’d met a girl I really like the night before. It wasn’t long until my flat mates fell for her, too. We had the most amazing times together. We all met in our mid-twenties, just at the point when we had started to earn enough money to afford to have fun but not enough to care too much about the consequences the next day.

Gareth and Desreen hit it off immediately, not least because of their shared love for Sex and the City, Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives. I miss listening to their girly chats. 

Our Desreen 

Des, Dessie, our Desreen,

Amazing mum and fashion queen,

Wonderful wife to my mate, Ben,

Oh, how we wish we could see you again.

From Fabric queue to knowing you,

Eight little years were far too few,

But they were amazing, wonderful, brilliant years,

The smiles, the laughs, and now the tears.

Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives,

The carefreeness of our twenties lives,

We’d made a bond, we’d found a friend,

At times she’d drive us round the bend.

That laugh, that grin,

That playful sin,

That gorgeous hair, those bulging eyes,

The beautiful clothes, the amazing highs.

Always noticed, always heard,

Always passionate, always cared,

Always loud, always seen,

Just the way she liked it, our Desreen.

She was just so strong,

Didn’t take no grief,

And she never ever kept it brief.

Never scared to give an opinion,

Even if it was one in a million!

Oh Des, how we miss you so,

We promise to take care of Jackson Bo,

We know that Ben will make you proud,

You will live on (perhaps just not so loud).

It’s so unfair, it seems so cruel,

That God chooses when to come and rule,

He needed an angel for his big scene.

He’s got one now in our Desreen.

7 comments on “our desreen

  1. Kate
    February 8, 2014

    That is just beautiful. Desreen was one special lady.

  2. Avril Lamb
    February 8, 2014

    Just amazing, a privilege to read. Wish I had known this wonderful lady.

  3. Emma
    February 8, 2014

    So emotional especially as it is written by a friend. She obviously made a huge impact on your lives

  4. handikwani02
    February 8, 2014

    I only got to know Desreen through reading Ben’s blogs after her death, you can not help but feel that here was an amazing person who was capable of impacting all those whom she met. It feels like she was living her life to the full as if she was aware that she was not going to be around for long. I am now part of the legacy she left behind.
    A very beautiful poem for a beautiful person.

  5. WallyMummy
    February 8, 2014

    Beautiful… and very moving xx

  6. Katy Hill
    February 10, 2014

    Everyone dreams of making an impact in life and Desreen CLEARLY achieved that dream. And continues to do so x

  7. Petra
    May 13, 2014

    Your devotion to your wife is beautiful. It really sounds as though you found your soul mate. Although your time with her was much too short, it sounds as though it was blessed. That alone makes you much, much luckier than most. I’m really sorry for your loss. That you seek to keep her alive so faithfully is really inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us and turning your loss into strength for so many people.

    God bless you and your son.

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This entry was posted on February 8, 2014 by and tagged , , , , .
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