Life as a Widower

A young widowed father opening up about living with loss

forever love

This afternoon I attended my first wedding since my wife died. I had no ‘plus one’, just me and my friends. I was the guy on his own, which I had no problem with because, although I couldn’t attend as part of a couple, I’m never alone when I’m with the people I love.

Being in church got me thinking about my vows though. It made me think, positively, how much I meant them and, perhaps more sceptically, how much the traditional pledges leave little way for loss.

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’til death us do part.

She may no longer be here to have or hold; wealth and poverty have both lost their meaning to me; there was no sickness to work through and I have my health; but why should being parted by death stop love?

Looking back it seems absurd that I only promised to love and cherish my wife until death. I’ll love and cherish her forever.

11 comments on “forever love

  1. Jon
    June 2, 2013

    A friend sent me the quote “A true love story never ends” I think that will be my tattoo.

    • Edward Baker
      June 4, 2013

      My tattoo reads simply “Hannah”, she’s on my shoulder wherever I go. Looking after me now and forever.

  2. Jayne
    June 2, 2013

    I share those sentiments exactly.

  3. Paul R
    June 2, 2013

    I agree that I will always love and cherish my wife, I also see the til death do us part as releasing me from the vow of marriage. Should I ever chose to tie myself to a new love, I can do so.

  4. jane
    June 2, 2013

    totally agree, i would never stop loving my huband in death xx

  5. G
    June 2, 2013

    As someone pointed out to me death is the only way a marriage can end as a success …… Sad but true, death doesn’t ever stop the love though. 9years in to this journey and new life and I still love my husband as though he was here by my side, it hasn’t stopped me moving forward and loving life again, just as having a second and third child didn’t diminish the love for my first born, my love for others has increased my capacity for love. I am yet to find that special love again….. Maybe in the future love will walk up my garden path but for now the love from family and friends is enough xx

  6. Katherine
    June 2, 2013

    I too have pondered my wedding vows recently and ours ended with “as long as we both shall live” I am still living, although my husband is not, and I will honor those vows all the days of my life. I also loved that “what God hath joined today, let no man put asunder” We are joined together forever regardless of if one is in Heaven and one is on Earth.

    • Kayme
      June 2, 2013

      I love this and agree completely.

  7. Sarah Pointer
    June 2, 2013

    I think I am more in love with my husband than ever before. Probably because since losing him I have thought about him practically every minute and I can’t believe how lucky I was that he was mine. All the things we should have said that we never said, all the things we should have done though we never did…

  8. Edward Baker
    June 4, 2013

    I find you and the way you write a true inspiration, I’m in the depths of despair after losing my wife/partner of 15 years. I’m 33 and feel like my life is over, that noone understands what I’m going through even though I have a counselor who tells me, as do my friends, that I’m doing all the right things. I can’t thank you enough for making me feel like I’m not a freak and not alone. I have the utmost respect for you and your bravery in sharing. I wish you strength and above all hope for the future. Thank you.

  9. Sou Thao
    October 3, 2014

    After reading everyones personal loss & struggle I must say that you all are very strong. I am moved by your will. God bless all of you!

    – Sou

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