Just a man opening up about how it feels to lose his wife
It’s so interesting to observe human behaviour when you lose someone. Those who haven’t experienced close loss often find it impossible to know what to do or say, so they neither do nor say anything. They don’t think it’s their place to express how they feel and they think grief has a kind of hierarchy that they are too low down on, so they hang on the imaginary sidelines too afraid they won’t get it right. They haven’t been taught and they haven’t learnt how to handle the situation.
The honest truth is there is no right or wrong way to approach a person stunned by grief, but if you look hard enough there are some wonderful guidelines that sum up exactly how newly widowed people want their friends and family to behave around them. And thank God there are, because when you’re grieving you just aren’t articulate, brave or strong enough to say any of them yourself.
That’s where the charity Care for the Family came in. They sent me this link, which I in turn sent to some of my nearest and dearest so that they could begin to understand what they could do to help. It means I no longer have to muster the energy to think of jobs for them to do when I can barely decide what socks to wear.
I urge you to read it, save it and share it with anyone who has recently been widowed. It’s helped me enormously.